Porcelain dolls always have this somehow cold look. Those slightly smiling cold lips, those glittering eyes... They're like elegant doors closed, with the sensation that there's somebody spying you throught the keyhole, with a secret and frightening intention...
- Do you like her? - The old voice of this grandma wakes me up from my sinister thoughts. She's alone, or almost. Her sons don't visit her, they live in other state, I think, but she didn't want to go with them and them didn't wanted her to. So here I am, trying to disimulate I'm not really a volunteer.
- No. Well, I mean... -
- It's alright, child. No need to worry. Not everyone shares the same tastes. So, want to drink something? Coffee, tea? -
- Oh! I don't want to be a nuisance. I'm here to help if I can, after all. -
- Help? Ha! Child, I have been living alone since my husband, God keeps him in His glory, left me. I'm not so old I can't live alone. -
- But... I thought... I mean, in the volunteer program... -
- I registered there, but it wasn't out of need. I don't need someone to help me stand, or cleaning myself, thanks to God. I just want some company every once in a while, you know? -
- Oh! -
- Yes. Come on then, sit down. - She sits on the big armchair, and I do in the couch. Not knowing what to say, I look again to the dolls in the shelf. There must be a hundred, or more. All with the same look in their eyes.
- I like those dolls. They're very useful, in their own way. My little children. They help me feeling young. -
- How? -
- How? ha ha! Child, you'll know. You'll know. But first, tell me something about you. How was your name, again? -
- Laura. Laura Miles. -
- Oh! Yes, it's a beautiful name. So, Laura, my child, tell me about you. -
-I spend the next couple of hours talking about my life. My parents, the school, the things I say when someone ask me what I wanna be after college... She listen, smiling. Sometimes saying things like "Aha, wonderful" and that stuff. Then I stop talking and she says
- Wonderful, my child. I'm enjoying this afternoon, but it's going to be dark soon, and you should get home before that. But before you go... - She turns around and takes another of those porcelain dolls. She's dressed with a simple blue dress. Mrs Morris sits next to me in the coach.
- This one is for you, my child. Don't say anything, this will help you understand why I love this dolls so much. Take it. I'm sure it will look wonderfully on your bed.
-I take it, a bit reluctantly. But how can I say no? It's just a doll, after all.
Later, after having dinner, I go to my room and look the doll I put on the desk. It's a bit odd. Its eyes don't glitter, and its lips and skin don't have that caracteristic look of porcelain. It could be a simple plastic doll, apart from the weight. I put it on a shelf, next to my textbooks.
...
At last, today is the last time I have to come here. Mrs Morris is kind and all, but I still don't like that house. Actually, I think that place has something to do with my cought. Since I were there the first time, I cought, I have headaches and even my joints hurt. Maybe I got a virus or something. I don't understand how that old woman can live there. And there's the dolls thing. All those dolls. Everytime I see them it's like they were trying to get my attention, with those awfully cold eyes... If they weren't just dolls, I'd swear I feel their eyes stinging like splinters. Even the one I have in my room, the one Mrs Morris gave me, it's beginning to be as bad. I think it's getting more glittering each day, and colder. I can't understand how I thought it was like a plastic doll. It's porcelain all right. When I'm in my room I gotta put that thing to the wall or I think I feel those eyes too, staring at me.
But that's gonna disappear. Today is the last day of this "volunteering". At least if I were a volunteer, but this is punishment 'cause that little joke. How could I know it was gonna be him the first in crossing that door, anyway? It should have been the history teacher.
Anyway, I'm here and I knock the door. Mrs Morris don't make me wait. She never does, anyway. She smiles and welcomes me. As I enter, I notice a cake on the table. She sees where I'm looking to, and speaks.
- You told me today was gonna be the last day you were to come here, so I thought it would be nice to have something special. -
- Oh! You didn't have to worry! Anyway, I can come back once in a while, despite not being in the volunteer group! - Well, at least I could, I think, if I wanted to.
- No, no. - She says - You're too young to be wasting your time with an old woman like me. You have to live the life of the young, pretty girl you are. And now, sit down and let's eat that cake. I made it myself. -
She now starts monologuing about how she enjoys to cook, specially sweet things, that there are enough bad things in the world to not eat cakes, and confections, and things... And I let her talk, nodding from time to time. If I just hadn't these cough attacks, and the headache, I think I could have enjoyed that last afternoon with Mrs Morris. Anyway, tomorrow I can sleep in late. Maybe that can take this damn pain out of my head and bones...
...
The old woman has wet eyes while Mrs Miles tells her about her daughter's death. "It seemed a normal flu" she's saying. "But something wasn't normal. Young people don't die of a flu, not these days after all."
After some time trying to comfort her, the old woman asks:
- I gave Laura one of my porcelain dolls. I thought she could like it. Now... I, well, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but I would like to take that doll back with me, to my house, as a memory of the time I could be with her. She was so special, you know... -
With tears in her cheeks, Mrs Miles nod, and stands. Together, the two women go upstairs and enter the room. Then Mrs Miles can't keep walking and after some tears more, she says she'll wait out of the room. Mrs Norris nod, and enter the room. She take the doll as she knew exactly where it was. The two women go back the living room, and Mrs Norris says goodbye to her before going out of the house. She rises the doll and look into its eyes.
- Now you understand, right, Laura? Yes, my child. That's why. -
Then she put her lips over the doll's mouth. To anyone it would seem like an old woman kissing a porcelain doll, but they wouldn't be able to see that Mrs Norris was inspiring. If instead of a doll were a baby, she would have been sucking the air out of his little lungs.
She sighs and smile.
- Nothing like this to keep you healthy, my child. Now let's go. I have the perfect place for you in my house... -Mrs Norris start walking towards her house. And I would be crazy if I say she looked a bit younger.
But she did.
- Do you like her? - The old voice of this grandma wakes me up from my sinister thoughts. She's alone, or almost. Her sons don't visit her, they live in other state, I think, but she didn't want to go with them and them didn't wanted her to. So here I am, trying to disimulate I'm not really a volunteer.
- No. Well, I mean... -
- It's alright, child. No need to worry. Not everyone shares the same tastes. So, want to drink something? Coffee, tea? -
- Oh! I don't want to be a nuisance. I'm here to help if I can, after all. -
- Help? Ha! Child, I have been living alone since my husband, God keeps him in His glory, left me. I'm not so old I can't live alone. -
- But... I thought... I mean, in the volunteer program... -
- I registered there, but it wasn't out of need. I don't need someone to help me stand, or cleaning myself, thanks to God. I just want some company every once in a while, you know? -
- Oh! -
- Yes. Come on then, sit down. - She sits on the big armchair, and I do in the couch. Not knowing what to say, I look again to the dolls in the shelf. There must be a hundred, or more. All with the same look in their eyes.
- I like those dolls. They're very useful, in their own way. My little children. They help me feeling young. -
- How? -
- How? ha ha! Child, you'll know. You'll know. But first, tell me something about you. How was your name, again? -
- Laura. Laura Miles. -
- Oh! Yes, it's a beautiful name. So, Laura, my child, tell me about you. -
-I spend the next couple of hours talking about my life. My parents, the school, the things I say when someone ask me what I wanna be after college... She listen, smiling. Sometimes saying things like "Aha, wonderful" and that stuff. Then I stop talking and she says
- Wonderful, my child. I'm enjoying this afternoon, but it's going to be dark soon, and you should get home before that. But before you go... - She turns around and takes another of those porcelain dolls. She's dressed with a simple blue dress. Mrs Morris sits next to me in the coach.
- This one is for you, my child. Don't say anything, this will help you understand why I love this dolls so much. Take it. I'm sure it will look wonderfully on your bed.
-I take it, a bit reluctantly. But how can I say no? It's just a doll, after all.
Later, after having dinner, I go to my room and look the doll I put on the desk. It's a bit odd. Its eyes don't glitter, and its lips and skin don't have that caracteristic look of porcelain. It could be a simple plastic doll, apart from the weight. I put it on a shelf, next to my textbooks.
...
At last, today is the last time I have to come here. Mrs Morris is kind and all, but I still don't like that house. Actually, I think that place has something to do with my cought. Since I were there the first time, I cought, I have headaches and even my joints hurt. Maybe I got a virus or something. I don't understand how that old woman can live there. And there's the dolls thing. All those dolls. Everytime I see them it's like they were trying to get my attention, with those awfully cold eyes... If they weren't just dolls, I'd swear I feel their eyes stinging like splinters. Even the one I have in my room, the one Mrs Morris gave me, it's beginning to be as bad. I think it's getting more glittering each day, and colder. I can't understand how I thought it was like a plastic doll. It's porcelain all right. When I'm in my room I gotta put that thing to the wall or I think I feel those eyes too, staring at me.
But that's gonna disappear. Today is the last day of this "volunteering". At least if I were a volunteer, but this is punishment 'cause that little joke. How could I know it was gonna be him the first in crossing that door, anyway? It should have been the history teacher.
Anyway, I'm here and I knock the door. Mrs Morris don't make me wait. She never does, anyway. She smiles and welcomes me. As I enter, I notice a cake on the table. She sees where I'm looking to, and speaks.
- You told me today was gonna be the last day you were to come here, so I thought it would be nice to have something special. -
- Oh! You didn't have to worry! Anyway, I can come back once in a while, despite not being in the volunteer group! - Well, at least I could, I think, if I wanted to.
- No, no. - She says - You're too young to be wasting your time with an old woman like me. You have to live the life of the young, pretty girl you are. And now, sit down and let's eat that cake. I made it myself. -
She now starts monologuing about how she enjoys to cook, specially sweet things, that there are enough bad things in the world to not eat cakes, and confections, and things... And I let her talk, nodding from time to time. If I just hadn't these cough attacks, and the headache, I think I could have enjoyed that last afternoon with Mrs Morris. Anyway, tomorrow I can sleep in late. Maybe that can take this damn pain out of my head and bones...
...
The old woman has wet eyes while Mrs Miles tells her about her daughter's death. "It seemed a normal flu" she's saying. "But something wasn't normal. Young people don't die of a flu, not these days after all."
After some time trying to comfort her, the old woman asks:
- I gave Laura one of my porcelain dolls. I thought she could like it. Now... I, well, I hope you don't mind me asking this, but I would like to take that doll back with me, to my house, as a memory of the time I could be with her. She was so special, you know... -
With tears in her cheeks, Mrs Miles nod, and stands. Together, the two women go upstairs and enter the room. Then Mrs Miles can't keep walking and after some tears more, she says she'll wait out of the room. Mrs Norris nod, and enter the room. She take the doll as she knew exactly where it was. The two women go back the living room, and Mrs Norris says goodbye to her before going out of the house. She rises the doll and look into its eyes.
- Now you understand, right, Laura? Yes, my child. That's why. -
Then she put her lips over the doll's mouth. To anyone it would seem like an old woman kissing a porcelain doll, but they wouldn't be able to see that Mrs Norris was inspiring. If instead of a doll were a baby, she would have been sucking the air out of his little lungs.
She sighs and smile.
- Nothing like this to keep you healthy, my child. Now let's go. I have the perfect place for you in my house... -Mrs Norris start walking towards her house. And I would be crazy if I say she looked a bit younger.
But she did.
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